I was raised to believe that showing up, working hard, and doing excellent work would eventually pay off. And in the early parts of my career, that was true. Effort led to progress and physical presence led to opportunity.
But there is a point in everyone’s career, especially quiet leaders, where that formula breaks down.
It breaks down the moment your work’s impact is no longer understood, or the moment you are seen as too valuable in the role you’re already in.
I’ve lived through both.
The Trap of Being “Too Valuable”
My first management role was leading a “tools team”: the group that built the launch processes, deployment tooling, and production support systems that kept everything running. It was meaningful work, but it wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t “product” or anything having to do with new features.
I wanted to move into a team that worked directly on customer-facing launches, so I asked to transfer.
I was told:
“You’re too valuable where you are.”
I had made myself indispensable on the tools team; I had become a victim of my own success.
Quiet leaders fall into this trap often. We stabilize teams and deliver results without drama. We handle the unglamorous but essential work. This means:
Leadership feels safe keeping us where we are
Our contributions blend into the background
Our impact is invisible because we rarely self-promote
If you find yourself in this position, you face a hard truth:
If you want something different, you have to say it clearly. And you have to be willing to leave if the answer is “no”.
At that point in my life, I wasn’t willing to leave. I had three kids under six, and I’d never seen so much virtual stock value on paper. Walking away felt impossible.
Then, the DotCom bubble solved the problem for me. The company’s stock collapsed and my “tools team” became a “cost center.” Suddenly, I was free.
The Box You Don’t Realize You’re In
Before the bubble burst, I had started working closely with the core search team. These were the folks building distributed search on Linux back when that was cutting-edge. Working with them broadened my skills, but I still struggled to open doors.
I was working hard, but that’s all I was doing. Hard work creates stability, but visibility creates mobility. I was effective, but invisible.
The Problem With “Office Politics”
Back then, I watched other managers get way more opportunities than me. They were chosen for special projects, got promotions, and had tons of visibility with directors. They were good at what they did, but so was I. The difference was that they were constantly socializing their wins, building relationships upward, and aligning themselves with influential leaders.
I hated it.
It felt like “good old boy” politics. Loud voices, self-congratulations, and strategic friendships seemed to matter more than substance. I wanted no part of it.
But I eventually learned that there’s a difference between politics and influence, and not all visibility needs to be avoided like the plague. The challenge is that quiet leaders avoid politics on purpose, and they end up avoiding visibility by accident.
Avoiding manipulative politics is good, but avoiding influence is career-limiting. The only way to move up and out is learning to make your work visible to the organization around you.
Learning to Influence as a Quiet Leader
After many years working at Amazon, startups, and eventually Warner Bros. Discovery, I learned how quiet leaders can influence their peers and leaders without becoming political operatives. Basically, I learned how to communicate impact in a way the organization could understand without thumping my chest.
For example, during one particularly intense streaming program at WBD, I began sending short written updates summarizing risks, dependencies, and decisions. I wrote them so that the team and all stakeholders could be aligned.
To my surprise, executives forwarded them, teams aligned around them, decisions came faster, and people began seeking out my perspective.
How Quiet Leaders Make Their Impact Seen
Here are the lessons I wish I’d learned earlier in my career that I now teach to introverted leaders who feel stuck, overlooked, or boxed into roles they’ve outgrown.
1. Clarity beats visibility theater
You don’t need to perform leadership, but you do need to show your work in a way that others can use.
2. Build relationships before you need them
Influence is cumulative.
Trust is built quietly over time: in 1:1s, in small moments, through consistent presence.
3. Choose visibility over volume
For quiet leaders, visibility is:
A well-written summary
A pattern spotted early
A clear decision framed simply
A calm voice in a chaotic moment
4. Say what you want and need
The organization cannot read your mind. Speak up.
Quiet leadership isn’t hiding.
Quiet leadership doesn’t mean waiting and hoping someone notices your work. It also doesn’t mean avoiding conflict or waiting your turn.
Quiet leadership is:
Intentional
Observant
Strategic
Deeply credible
But it must also be visible.
Otherwise you risk what happened to me early in my career: being trapped by your own competency, overlooked despite your impact, and frustrated by a system that rewards those who speak first.
Quiet leadership isn’t about being silent.
It’s about being heard for the right reasons.
