Thank you David Markley for taking the time to share your remarkable insights and experience for my question! I relate a lot with what you have written, and most importantly it helps me be more patient with myself and others when it comes to the challenge of changing oneself to be a better self.
Krishnan gave me permission to build this essay from his comment, and I want to thank him publicly for it. His question was better than my essay about it: "What actually changed the habit for you? Not the insight. I already have that part."
The honest part of my answer is the part I resisted writing: thirty years on, the reflex still fires. Usually when I am tired, or when the room contains someone whose approval I want more than I would like to admit. The checkpoint catches it faster now. It has never made it disappear.
So I will ask you the same question he asked me. There is something about how you show up that you already understand and keep doing anyway. What is the smallest thing that has ever actually moved it for you? Not the insight. The habit.
Thank you David Markley for taking the time to share your remarkable insights and experience for my question! I relate a lot with what you have written, and most importantly it helps me be more patient with myself and others when it comes to the challenge of changing oneself to be a better self.
Krishnan gave me permission to build this essay from his comment, and I want to thank him publicly for it. His question was better than my essay about it: "What actually changed the habit for you? Not the insight. I already have that part."
The honest part of my answer is the part I resisted writing: thirty years on, the reflex still fires. Usually when I am tired, or when the room contains someone whose approval I want more than I would like to admit. The checkpoint catches it faster now. It has never made it disappear.
So I will ask you the same question he asked me. There is something about how you show up that you already understand and keep doing anyway. What is the smallest thing that has ever actually moved it for you? Not the insight. The habit.